Saturday, January 5, 2008

The Top 9 Warning Signs of Peanut Butter Addiction

Somebody, help me - I got all 9 signs!

9> Denial: “I’n nod addicded due deanud dudduh!”

8> Able to empty a brand new jar in under 0.5 seconds; 1.2 if you use a knife.

7> Every night it’s the same thing; empty peanut butter jars lie scattered around your bloated, satisfied, unconscious self.

6> You haul off and punch the guy who just got chocolate in your peanut butter.

5> Elephants keep escaping from the zoo to lick you.

4> Peanut butter toast for breakfast: Good. Peanut butter on celery for lunch: Fine. Peanut butter on ham for dinner: People are starting to talk.

3> Your parents are constantly having to pry you off the roof.

2> Your blood type is listed as “chunky.”

and the Number 1 Warning Sign of Peanut Butter Addiction…

1> You suffer deep depression when your school’s production of “Peter Pan” turns out to be just about a bunch of kids living on some island.


(dedicated to the good times sitting next to KY Tan in IBM who was appalled with the disgusting amount of peanut butter I consumed!)

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